careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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