I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
