So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
