i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It's just like the Real World with babies
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
