I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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