remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
you had me at cake vodka
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
