she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
