she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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