not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
