So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize