She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
