all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
