Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
