But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
