Where did you get a picture of my penis
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
