I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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