Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
