So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
