yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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