What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
