no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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