Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
