He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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