He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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