hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
