i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize