i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
