i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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