When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
