this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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