Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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