P.S. I can't hear my feet
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
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