Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
