I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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