wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Drunk is not a location!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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