I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
