No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize
