ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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