I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
