Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
