I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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