thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
