the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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