Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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