I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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