There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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