He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
they're like a gay fantastic four
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Randomize
