The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
