so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
