Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
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