Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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