No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
