That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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