before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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