I seem to have left my pride at pride
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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