I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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