How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
