She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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